Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

Sunday, 23 April 2023

Gonna be a time...

It’s gonna be a time. It’s a Newfoundland expression you say when adventure lies ahead—especially if it involves a gathering of your besties, booze, and good downhome music. I’ve heard the saying in my head so much this last year or so. But, while the voice in my imagination is laden with the familiar Newfie accent, I haven’t drawn any comfort from it. Mostly, because the voice has altered the words, instead, repeatedly saying: It’s been a time. And, it has.

 

Life has been weighted with loss, health issues, and stress. Just when I thought the world would soon tip upright, it tilted again. It has also been a year of hard work and reward. Writing under contract was new to me, and being an overachiever, I took it seriously, delivering my manuscripts polished and well ahead of deadlines. I’ve always functioned that way. But I’ve never had to do it while my personal life was reeling. The publication of my first historical romance series (a dream come true) was both joyous and bittersweet.

 

So, why the Newfoundland expression? I don’t know. Perhaps, during the harder days, I was drawn to memories of my life growing up in an outport there. Some of the happiest—innocence, youth, blind belief that life would be uneventfully eventful. Or is that what growing old does? Colour the past into comfortable pastel shades to ease the dark that splashes across one’s aging canvas?

 

My world is still askew, but less so. Maybe another aspect of getting older is that it never returns to its original position? Maybe we’re meant to look at our lives from each new angle? I’m not sure, but I do know, I am growing more productive. I’m also pushing myself back out into the world at large. A bit unnerving, but so far, I have been rewarded with the company of wonderful people.

 

So, it’s been a time. But more and more, I believe, that once again, the voice from my youth is going to cheer me on, and I will genuinely be looking forward to new adventures. Yes, some day soon, it’s gonna be a time.



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